1st Trimester Blues

surprise :)

(if you hadn't seen my IG post yet!)

now that the 3rd cat is out of the bag, i am really looking forward to being a loooooot more transparent about just what has gone on since march with y'all.  simply put, i’ve been living a lie via social media.  people see only what you choose to show them (filtered shots with perfect angles, perfect lighting, perfect smiles, perfect poses, perfect captions, etc., etc., etc.)...and usually the posts are filled with anything but the hard, difficult seasons you're going through.

that said, this 1st trimester is a lot like my last two pregnancies in many ways.  the major differences?  i didn't have much time to prepare this round, and i have two kids now! these symptoms started waaaay earlier this time... like week 3 early.  weeks 9-13 were all i endured in the past, and from then to delivery my preggo journey was really fun and very enjoyable.  those are the parts of pregnancy i miss and reflect back on often.  however, it's going on 11+ weeks since the fit and the foodie was sucked straight outta le.  i have been knocked completely on my butt. again. i know i'm not getting any younger (although this is still the best shape i've ever been in) and pregnancy is obviously a time to just slow down as my body adapts and prepares to grow a human for crying out loud... i get it.  but the way my lifestyle is set up.... whew.  with teaching classes and training (which is what i do), it's very difficult to deal with and accept not being physically able to perform at my best.

so, since march, my life motivation has tanked - my mood, my thoughts, my passion to do what i love...i have absolutely no desire to workout, eat healthy, cook homemade meals, create recipes, post on social media, talk on the phone, or be social in real life, absolutely nothing. most of the things i have been making i don't even eat!  k, except those shrimp enchiladas from earlier this week (cause they were filled with a dairy cheese sauce ;) ). #killedthat anyway, i just want to sleep and be left alone until week 13. well, assuming prayerfully this all starts to taper off by then.......... but i can't do that.  

life doesn't work like that, nor will the earth stop spinning just cause i need it to.  on top of classes and clients i have a family to take excellent care of, a household to hold down, new cook books and recipes to create, workout programs to develop and implement, and a blog to run.  finding the drive to do all of my normal, daily activities has taken everything in me. i teach my fitness classes on His strength alone. i put that mic on, say yet another prayer, and before i know it i’m ending class and taking it off.  it’s all a blur; like an outer body experience or something.  I wake up every single morning exhausted no matter how much sleep i got the night before, then i lay there and immediately wonder, "what kind of day will today be?", cause i still can't ever call it.  will i get anything on my to-do list done today? what time will my daily headache/nausea symptoms kick in? what food will turn on me today? heck, what will my husband eat today!? i have not been able to keep up with Sonny's meal prep (tilapia....#UmmNo) because not only do i have zero energy to be in the kitchen for an extended period of time, but the smell of vegetables or homemade food cooking makes my nausea flare up. in short, i feel like the biggest bum EVER IN LIFE right now.  #SubwayOnSpeedDial #BumLife #AllergicToProductivity #FitFoodieWho 

this is supposed to be a joyous time! oh how i wish i felt the same on the inside more often than not though. this is my current reality, and it's important that i’m truthful about my symptoms and how i'm really feeling. it is what it is. pregnancy affects women differently (how many times do we hear and read that) and this is just how my 1st trimesters have proven to go but, this is only a season.  seasons change and my good friends remind me often that, "this too shall pass," and they are exactly right.  there will be brighter days, and i'll look back at this post and have a good laugh (and/or cry) eventually.  

i have 1st tri updates coming out of my ears that i am finally able share!

thanks for stickin' with me and for all the baby Egwuatu #3 love!!!

K E E P   U P   W I T H   U S !

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holy forehead acne + gender reveal

my close friends are like 'girl SHUT UP about this forehead acne already. please.' and i will. when it goes away :shock: .   forreal though, it's the only symptom that is different from my 1st pregnancy. so 2% of me believed a mini fit foodie le was on the way.

 welp, yesterday was the day we got to confirm those (un)educated guesses.  i have been saying i don't care about the sex... i meant that.  i still don't care. i just can't believe i said i would wait until i was in the delivery room to find out....HA. yeah, not doing that. this round anyway!  i commend women/couples who actually go through with it though, seriously.

i wake up wanting real cheese, eggs, and toast. every morning. most days this is dinner too.  so after a filling breakfast and some 19 week selfies,

i was so excited i threw on some heels and we hit the road to meet Sonny.  i asked Chi for the last time that morning,' so, sister or a brother? '  he responded with 'no thank you mama.  i don't want a sister.' aaaaallrightythen.

 i couldn't help but think, 'i was just here with Chiso.' 3 years really did pass by that fast. funny how my entire visit happened just like last time too.  Sonny came to meet me (well us, this time) from work, and i even used the same changing room. on purpose.   i remember having to chug 20 oz or more of water just before the procedure. and i barely made it to the bathroom afterwards. like last time.

heading down the long hallway to the US room.

it was even the same nurse - i recognized her right away and the way she began: 'ok please let me find what i need to find first and then we'll eventually get to the gender, your questions, and then i'll show you your baby in detail.' aaaaallrightlythen. #doyourthing.  she reminded me that the procedure usually lasts an hour, but that's cause sometimes the babies don't cooperate or face in the best direction.  luckily our little one gave us a clear shot of the goods ;)  . i think it's hilarious to watch the baby's mouth opening and closing on the screen- i'm like what the heck are you even saying :lol: !?  it's also cool to see all the punching and kicking and feel it happening in your belly simultaneously.   just in complete awe of God, again.

he'll fully understand soon enough.

and we're done here! all cheeses after 'meeting' the 4th member of the Egwuatu family.  so.....

this was the very first pic the nurse printed out for us.... POW. i knew instantly but Sonny still had the 'wait, what is that?' look on his face for the longest.

well, what is it?! 

(view is from the top looking down)

le

fit foodie who?

so i'm roughly 16 weeks and some change and finally climbing further and further away from my first trimester symptoms.  thank. God.  if you were to have asked me who Fit Foodie Le was from weeks 8ish to about 13 i would not have been able to answer.   at my 8 week appt., my doc asked me if i needed any nausea meds and i proudly said 'nope!'. i prolly had a 'who, me?' look on my face to go with it.  weeeeell week 9 came and socked me in the face like a bag of rocks.  nausea (evening sickness) headaches, annoying forehead acne (still here), confused appetite, mood swings, and some of the worst fatigue i've ever experienced took over my world.  i felt like one of those cartoon characters with a black rain cloud following them everywhere.

i didn't want to do ANYTHING.  y'all don't hear me. NOTHING AT ALL.  no blogging, no IG, no social media whatsoever. i just wanted to disconnect from everything, everyone and sleep.  after walking up the stairs in our home, i had enough energy left to crumble to the floor once i finally made it to the top.  carrying Chiso across the room made my heart rate skyrocket.  i had no desire to workout and used every single excuse i could not to hit the gym when i wasn't teaching my fitness classes. i mainly blamed the weather (smh) which has never been a factor for me.  had no desire to go anywhere, do anything, be social, talk about fitness, eat or cook healthy food, and definitely no desire to motivate and inspire anybody else when i couldn't even get my own behind going.  because baby #2 was still secret, i had to keep quiet on social media and act like nothing had changed.  truth be told, i was on strike from vegetables with Chiso during that time cause the sight or smell of them made my nausea flare up.  most days, especially after a gym class, i'd be super hungry, but everything i thought of to eat repulsed me. friends, over those few weeks i ate some things i hadn't eaten in years because i wanted them and just didn't care! this flood of new hormones made me completely unfocused.  was i craving them? i wouldn't even call it that.  i just didn't want any healthy food and had to eat something.

but subway is a great pick, right? everything in moderation friends, even subway. i had my fave sammich (the turkey breast on wheat) for lunch and dinner for about 2 weeks straight. it's all i wanted. and conveniently located right next to Sonny's job :lol: .  then things took a slight turn...

 

a tartar sauce-less fillet O' fish from Mc Donalds. who even eats these anymore!?!?  hadn't eaten one in decades but a tv commercial was all it took.  it was as delicious as i remember.

Timmy Chans wings and rice. with gravy. I KNOW. :shock: :shock: :shock:

fresh, hot, Shipley's donut holes. i figure the holes would help me nip my 'craving' in the bud rather than eating a whole donut or four. but if you eat them all at once then that theory doesn't actually work now does it :roll:

more chocolate chip Eat Pastry vegan cookie dough. eaten raw,

and baked.

now THIS really was a craving! i can eat Papa Johns pizza any time of day, hot or cold, preggo or not. omg. pineapple, ham, and plenty of CHEESE.  5 slices later....... and i could have honestly kept going.

normally i get oatmeal or a whole wheat english muffin/toast on the side when we go out for breakfast (which is super rare anyway) , but nope, i ordered and devoured a pancake bigger than my head at The Egg & I.

aaaaand this guy... I IG'ed this weeks ago and i consider it the start of my indulgent, sporadic 1st tri eats. it's the Chocolate Chip Skillet Cookie,  a Chili's classic.  the last time we ate there though it was called the Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie!  its been a while.

so the wack part of it all is that immediately after i ate those things i felt worse. every time.  i'm not just talking food guilt here guys. i'm talking bad physically.  i don't know if those foods tasted so unbelievably incredible because i'm preggo or because i hadn't eaten them in soooooo long or what! they only satisfied me for the moment though and wreaked havoc on my 'plumbing' later, if you will.  things were just as bad in the exercise department.  i'd dread my drive to the gym and gripe, moan, and complain the entire way there.  once i got going and was actually  moving and sweating though, i felt like ME again and back to normal.  soon as i stopped? back to crappy town. so i figured i might as well force myself to eat healthy stuff again since my workouts were struggling and eating those terrible processed foods was a threat to me and the baby's overall health.  also, i was heavily contributing to early, unnecessary weight gain and reintroducing former unhealthy habits.    my classes have literally saved me.  if it weren't for them i would not have exercised at all.  some might say 'what's the big deal with not exercising for a few weeks???'.  i don't want my first trimester to set the tone for the rest of my pregnancy.  once i sit down for too long, even two days, (even when i'm not preggo)- it's like pulling teeth getting back into a routine again.  if you're struggling to get through your first tri or pregnancy period, just HOLD ON!!! indulge in a craving every now and then and just keep moving. what can i say..it will all be worth it ;)

my OB assured me things would change with time and thankfully they have.  hellooooo, 2nd tri!  my goal is no longer weight or fat loss, none of that! i just want to keep moving as much as possible, have fun with my workouts, and keep my healthy eating habits going along with some Papa John's pizza here and there. that's it. no pressure. until i deliver and recover; health for me and baby is my priority. i'm excited to share my 2nd fit preggo journey with you again!

looking forward to some of these prenatal exercises now that my desire to move again is back:

1. spinning - works wonders for circulation for mom and baby without all the joint pressure from weightlifting or say kickboxing classes.  plus, you determine the speed, intensity, everything.
2. yoga- no hot yoga though! eases tension, boosts your mood, and can even make for an easier delivery.
3. walking- i walked 98% of my 1st pregnancy and did a few 5 and 10ks along the way. ain't nothin' changed.
4. zumba- it’s a great cardiovascular workout that  requires side stepping, jumping, and turning movements. keep an eye on that heart rate though.
5. water aerobics - 'It may reduce pain during labor, according to a study published in Reproductive Health, finding that women who did water aerobics three times a week were less likely to ask for pain relief during labor, compared to those who didn't exercise.' hmmmm! i like those odds.
6. booty barre - a ballet-inspired class that includes legwork with minimal jumping, making it a great option for preggo women.  they will be offered at Lifetime Fitness soon!

the real Fit Foodie Le has returned and is ready to rock round two RIGHT! here we gooooooooooooo

le